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This is the Song of the Jellicles from the play 'CATS'. All true lyrics should be in that lavender color, all comments by Mousie are in orange. Evidently, she found it and decided it needed to be criticized. *Shrug*
Jellicle cats come out tonight (You mean we weren't out already? I had a date, thank you very much)
Jellicle cats come one, come all (Oh no, you are not having all those strays in here! No!)
The Jellicle moon is shining bright (*Pulls up tail and moons them*)
Jellicles come to the Jellicle ball (Taken wrong, this is actually very funny)
Jellicle cats are black and white (*Looks at fur* No, I'm green. Of course we're all black and white, you moron!)
Jellicle cats are rather small (I'm not a midget, I'm just vertically challenged)
Jellicle cats are merry and bright (...No comment)
And pleasant to hear when the caterwaul (*Meows loudly enough to shatter glass* Gee, really?)
Jellicle cats have cheerful faces (What's there to be cheerful about? I've got fleas in places I didn't even know I had!)
Jellicle cats have bright, black eyes (*Looks in mirror* Hmm, something's wrong. I got yellow eyes...)
They like to practice their airs and graces (*Does several ballet steps*)
And wait for the Jellicle moon to rise (*Pulls up tail again*)
Until the Jellicle moon appears (Not gonna bother...)
The make their toilette and take their repose (In public?!)
Jellicles wash behind their ears *Scrub, scrub*
Jellicles dry between their toes (*Gets out blow-dryer*)
Jellicle cats are white and black (Gee, how creative. We've reversed the lines)
Jellicle cats are of moderate size (Not so small anymore, huh?)
Jellicles jump like a jumping jack (Again, if taken the wrong way...)
Jellicle cats have moonlit eyes (You would, too, if you were caught in a semi's headlights)
They're quiet enough in the morning hours (*Turns up her stereo full blast playing Bye, Bye, Bye*)
They're quiet enough in the afternoon (*Sings full version of Heat It Up in a very off-key tone*)
Reserving their terpsichorean powers (We got powers, now? Cool)
To dance by the light of the Jellicle moon (Umm...)
Jellicle cats are black and white (Afore mentioned)
Jellicle cats, as I said, are small (*Crys*)
If it happens to be a stormy night
They will practice a caper or two in the hall (*Runs off with ming vase*)
If it happens the sun is shining bright (Then I'd be sun-bathing)
You would say they had nothing to do at all (True, how I'd get to the beach if I can't drive is a mystery...)
They are resting and saving themselves to be right (Zzzz... Meow...)
For the Jellicle moon and the Jellicle ball (Does anyone else see what's wrong with that?!)